Truth Revealed: 2013 East Ghouta sarin attack was done by aliens!

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After sarin took the lives of more than 1400 Syrians in a Damascus suburb in the wee morning hours of 21 August 2013, a lot of interesting theories about who was really responsible for the attack spouted up on the Imperial Left. They all agreed that the government that had kept East Ghouta under siege for 13 months had nothing to do with it, beyond that, they never could seem to settle on a culprit. Some blamed Prince Bandar and the Saudis, others blamed various combinations of rebels, western spies, Turkey, Jordan, or Qatar, as they liked.

I now think the reason that they have never been able to complete the circle and definitively prove Assad didn't do it by definitively showing who did, is because they have been looking in all the wrong places. None of these actors are responsible, and neither was Assad. In fact, humans weren't even involved! This attack came from outer space!

While researching another matter, I found the clue that gives them away in the Violations Documentation Center in Syria "Special Report on the Use of Chemical Weapons in Damascus Suburbs", 22 August 2013, which contains many interviews with survivors. The VDC still insists the Assad regime is responsible for the attack, so apparently they missed the import of this nugget from their own report:

* one of the strangest cases seen by VDC field monitoring team in Syria, is that of a girl who has not recognized her mother and insisted that that woman was not her mother.
...
But the girl who heard talk, interrupted the mother saying that she was not hers. She kept swearing that the lady was not her mother and saying "my mother is called Samar Masri, but this woman is not my mom." According to the doctor supervising the case, the girl's psychological condition will improve within two days.

Anyone who's ever seen Invasion on the Body Snatchers knows what's going on here. They warned us twice about this already with a remake, so there's no excuse. Isn't it obvious? The mother was a body snatcher substitute! That's why the daughter didn't recognize her. The sarin attack was carried out by Pod People and they brought the sarin with them. They took over the bodies of people in East Ghouta before hand, like this girl's mother, and used them to stage the attack. Remember in the movies how they like to sneak around at night? That doctor was probably a Pod Person too! That's why he tried to reassure everyone that the daughter's rejection would pass in a few days,  sure! - as soon as her Pod develops - we know how that works!

They probably have Pod People in the Assad Regime too, that would explain how they could make the "finger print" of the sarin used in East Ghouta match that they turned over to the United Nations. Formerly, this writer, and many others, thought that provided definitive proof of Assad's responsibility. Now, I'm not so sure. Although it does raise another very frightening possibility. What if Bashar al-Assad himself is a Pod Person? Is that why the good doctor turned out to be so bad?

Happy Holidays,

Clay Claiborne

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